Again i feel sad. my another of the many elapse of this feeling; of hopeless for the council. it is no good thing. i kind of want to challenge the importance of council to the rest of my dear councillors. i asked one of my friend, hey there's a council event at 2 later right? he said yes. yet when i went there, he was nowhere there.
hey you all free to help? no. we're not. we need to go home
hey you go supervise XX make sure she do correctly. and what? later while we were doing, the whole bunch of councillors packed bag and left the Sc room clean of any of their trace. wow! so you mean.. you expect us to finish alone..?
baofang had to leave. so i let her leave, she wanted to and you all had to shuff something to her. then wat? expect her to do while you all leave? OMG!
hey look. what kind of shit is this? is council a choice? were you all given a choice to choose since the time you were in council?
i do not understand wht, why i came today still. i have no reasons to be so obliged to help. and why the rest of the councillors can sleep at home and watch cartoon. i could jolly well say, hey it's your job. now go do yourself. like what the rest of you all are doing to me. look. i am in charge of ties. and wat? i can't even get someone to help without cocking-up the system. so i'm alone. i do fine alone pretty well.
oh.. i'm a councillor so i'm supposed to help. come on! wake up! yes it is my duty to help. but wait. dun the rest of you need to help too? aren't you all councillors? no? isn't it true?
i came and people left. they left early.and when i was there. less than 10 were there. less than 5 was helping. oh wake up! isn't this a council thing? is council that insignificant? is it our duty to come? yes. is "all councillors to come and help with hearts" not a word to signify that you ALL have to come down?
FUCK all of you.
i do admit you all are more capable than me. but wait. so? so wat if you are capable? i depise the current all of you and council.
i had a problem in my earlier years. it was something psychologically affecting me and i couldn't explain it. i had no idea what it was. my friends thought i was just some lazy bastard wanting to make them do extra push-ups.obviously, they didn;t like me. and i was alone all the time. except when they pick on me.i grew negative for no one would care anyway.i didn't learn. i slacked as and when i could. and look. i didn't however pon for no reason. it was because i made the choice to be in it and i was responsible for going. thus i went. i missed out a lot but i was willing to change. thus i am less inefficent than you all. dun think you all are that great.
leaders? maybe worthless shit because you all dun even show the commitment.
i used to be the one ponning.
now i change and you all become the ponning factor.
tell me.. if it is a joke by god or is it a my retribution? enlighten me
we do not help one another. one council one voice one mind? maybe one council multi voices million minds. wait.. maybe 2 minds. PON and EScAPE mindsets.
but who cares its you all. but if this is so i am disgraced. why should i wear my council tee the way it is? shouldn't i wear it inverted? why should i respect it when the rest of you are treating it like bullshit? and similarly why am i in the room. we should make SL bigger peharps. we aren't one council anyway what we shouldn't have ONE room. either MILLIONS of room or no room.
yet by isolating myself i feel damn sad. but why should i be sad? shouldn't i enjoy myself anyway? but this means mixing with those i despise. but wait. do i have a chance?
why should i slog so much for council? why? probably the 2 nicholas are the only councillors. the rest of you? ah. go home. no one else do i respect.
think again. does the school respect us? we have to earn it. but will this shit earn us? we probably do not care. council isn't piority wat... isn;t it?
the school despise us yet we have to plan programme for it why? because it is our job our responsiblity. and beccause we are councillors. but. for meeting and last min things dun we have to come too? it is our responsiblity too. so?
we are all equal. or rather, all councillors. but we do not show one another respect and yes i do not respect any or you. you all probably do not respect me too. why? because i am incapable. you respect nicholas? yes and no. yes when he shouts because you have no choice or respect respect his decision. no because he's not in exco or something. why do i not respect you? because i do not care about how capable you are. your charactor and commitment is what that is most important. sadly. they are not there.
but why should i continue to have hope for council? because it takes one to start the ball rolling.
keep the ball rolling you faggots. i will try again. but lest i fail i wonder what will happen to me.
oh my. i sound like threqtening. but i can be both a liability or a follower. choose one.. council
why am i misanthropic? it was because of what i experienced ago and aggravated by council. nothing can be positive enough to make me positive now. so try me. see who is more negative.
deny me of the hope and my purpose in council and i will be laughing at the council, even when i am burned by my laughter itself.
* Council together-
